“Haven”

Creating a safe space to be heard can be the beginning of healing.

Creating a Haven

Everyone needs a place where they feel safe to be themselves, share what they are feeling, and know they will be met with understanding. HAVEN stands for Healing and Validating Emotional Needs and represents the importance of creating spaces where people feel seen, heard, accepted, and supported.

This Stomper was created to remind us that mental health and emotional well-being begin with connection. When we create safe spaces for honest conversations, we make it easier for people to express their emotions, ask for help, and know they are not alone.

The Power of Validation

Validation does not mean that we have to agree with everything someone is feeling. It means taking the time to listen, acknowledge their experience, and let them know that their feelings matter. A response of “I hear you,” “That sounds really hard,” or “I’m here for you” can make a meaningful difference.

When we validate rather than judge, we build trust. And when people feel safe enough to share what is really happening, we have an opportunity to connect them with the support and resources they need.

A Place to Heal

Healing does not look the same for everyone. Sometimes it begins with a conversation. Sometimes it begins with being heard. Sometimes it begins with knowing that someone cares enough to stay, listen, and walk alongside us.

HAVEN challenges each of us to be that safe place for someone else. To slow down. To check in. To listen. To create spaces where emotional needs are recognized and people know they matter. Together, we can create more havens in our homes, schools, workplaces, and communities.

You can be someone’s haven.

What Does Emotional Validation Mean?

Emotional validation is the act of acknowledging and accepting what someone is feeling. It does not mean that we have to agree with someone’s perspective or understand exactly what they are experiencing. It means letting them know that their feelings are real, that they matter, and that they are worthy of being heard.

When we validate someone’s emotions, we create space for connection rather than judgment.  Listening without immediately trying to fix, dismiss, or minimize what someone is feeling can help build trust and make it easier for them to open up. Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is offer our presence and the reminder that they do not have to carry their feelings alone.

Some helpful phrases we can use:

• “That sounds really hard.”
• “I can see why that was difficult.”
• “It makes sense that you feel that way.”
• “Thank you for telling me.”

How to Be a HAVEN for Someone:

Being a HAVEN for someone does not require having all the answers. It starts with being willing to notice, listen, and be present. Small moments of connection can make a lasting difference, especially when someone is struggling.

Listen. Give someone your full attention and resist the urge to immediately fix the problem.

Validate. Acknowledge their feelings without judgment or comparison. Let them know that what they are experiencing matters.

Ask. Check in and ask open-ended questions like, “How are you really doing?” or “What do you need right now?”

Stay connected. Follow up. A text or phone call can remind someone that they are not alone.

Connect to support. Sometimes being a HAVEN means helping someone find additional support from a trusted person, counselor, mental health professional, or other resource.

You don’t have to have the perfect words. You just have to be willing to show up, listen, and remind someone that they matter.

When Someone Needs More Support.

Sometimes, listening and being present are not enough, and that is okay. Being a HAVEN for someone means recognizing when they may need additional support and helping them find it.

Pay attention to changes in mood or behavior, increasing isolation, difficulty managing everyday life, or signs that someone is struggling to cope. If you are concerned, trust your instincts and start a conversation. You do not have to wait for someone to ask for help.

Help connect them with a trusted adult, counselor, mental health professional, doctor, or another source of support. If someone is in immediate danger or talking about suicide or self-harm, take it seriously, stay with them, and seek immediate help.

This project was supported by Penn State University Health Services (UHS) and Penn State Center for Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) and was created by Penn State Counseling and Psychological Services, Penn State University Health Services, Penn State Health Promotion & Wellness, Penn State Campus Recreation, Penn State Nature and Art RX, Penn State College of Education Journey Success Center, Penn State Residence Life IDEA Ambassadors, Penn State Office of Transformation, Penn State Eberly College of Science, Penn State Graduate School, Penn State Undergraduate Education, Penn State College of Agricultural Sciences, Penn State SMEAL College of Business, and Penn State students, in collaboration with Marisa and Nancy Vicere of Jana Marie Foundation

Our Artists: Chris Bittner, Marisa Vicere, Nancy Vicere

Curriculum Development: Marisa Vicere

Our Partners: Stephanie Stama, Jennifer Brauser, Jenna Laigaie, Carmelita Whitfield, Jason Yoder, Peter Horn, Hannah Brewster, and the entire Penn State CAPS and Penn State UHS teams.